Milestones
It’s easy to dwell on the many bad days. But every so often, you get to a good one. Today is a good day.
Messy
Life is filled with good days and bad days. That’s what makes recovery both challenging and incredibly vexing for someone who needs stability. But the inevitability of inconsistency, and accepting that as the one constant, is part of the journey to healing. The world is a fucked up place right now. The pandemic, politics, wars,…
Enough
Today my husband said, “you parked wrong”. And unexpectedly, the weight of all my insecurities and insignificance crushed me like a soda can on a metal press. I locked the bathroom door and collapsed on the cold tile floor and started heaving. You see, we are temporarily staying at my father-in-law’s house, at the end…
Voices
As the fog clears from my mind, I begin remembering and unpacking very painful memories of how broken I truly was. Part of standard operating procedure for inpatient admissions reporting brain trauma, a psychiatric evaluation is conducted, often in isolated wards with other true psychiatric patients. The ward I was in, like many psychiatric wards…
Fear
I’ve always learned to live with fear and how to paradoxically not be afraid of it. Growing up in the Kingdom, it was a constant state of terror from the mutawa, the Islamic religious police who ran the city of Riyadh with unflinching hands, always on the lookout for women inappropriately wearing their abaya, reminders…
Kintsugi
I was recently discharged from the hospital from an infection that caused my brain to swell. It was pressing so hard against my skull that it was causing breaks in my mental faculties. I’ve never had that before. My logic has always been sound. My eccentricities have always been within reason. My sense of self…
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Adventures of a Demigod 